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The Bronze

No medal for this mediocrity.

The Bronze

Grade: C

Director: Bryan Buckley

Screenplay: Melissa Rauch, Winston Rauch

Cast: Rauch (Are You Here), Gary Cole (Pineapple Express)

Rating: R

Runtime: 1 hr. 48 min

by John DeSando

"I'm not a coach—I'm a star!" Hope (Melissa Rauch)

The Bronze is not a comedy—it’s a dreary drama! A has-been bronze 2004 Olympic medalist, Hope, can’t get over her misfortune of pulling an Achilles heel in that 2004 competition and thus aborting her future plans for gold. I suppose her bitter personality, verbally abusing everyone in her path, could qualify for dark comedy, but Billy Bob’s Bad Santa she’s not, certainly not Fargo or Shaun of the Dead.

When Hope is spitting invective on everyone, Hope has a Midwestern twang truly annoying and crying out for a coach.  Beside that irritation, Ms. Rauch and her husband, Winston, have few if any lines worth the comic designation. Humorous in its own way is love interest Ben’s (Thomas Middleditch) constant twitching, but even that endearing affliction gets old soon. Gary Cole playing her dad is a pro as a weak father trying to balance out his beloved daughter emotionally while she continues to abuse him verbally.

So you ask what’s good besides Gary Cole? Well, Hope’s transformation into a semi-civilized person comes as she’s forced to coach sweet Olympic hopeful, Maggie (Haley Lu Richardson), a rival for the small-town Ohio’s worship of Hope’s Bronze achievement. Hope is much more likeable as a coach than a former athlete, and some of those coach scenes are believable.

Also noteworthy is the production design, especially Hope’s room filled with tacky trophies and teddy bears, attesting to this film’s greatest achievement—a story of arrested development with little hope that Hope will be a model citizen. After all, it takes some moral fiber to disavow casual sex and mail theft for their cheap acquisition.

Her last scene, however, promises a transformation we get too little of during our time with her .

John DeSando, a Los Angeles Press Club first-place winner for National Entertainment Journalism, hosts WCBE’s It’s Movie Time and co-hosts Cinema Classics. Contact him at JDeSando@Columbus.rr.com

John DeSando holds a BA from Georgetown University and a Ph.D. in English from The University of Arizona. He served several universities as a professor, dean, and academic vice president. He has been producing and broadcasting as a film critic on It’s Movie Time and Cinema Classics for more than two decades. DeSando received the Los Angeles Press Club's first-place honors for national entertainment journalism.