Free the Nipple

Dec 23, 2014

Not to be taken seriously!

Free the Nipple

Grade: C

Director: Lina Esco

Screenplay: Esco, et al.

Cast: Lina Esco (LOL), Lola Kirke (Gone Girl)

Rating: NR

Runtime: 84 min.

by John DeSando

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.” Dave Berry

Fighting for freedom of speech is good anytime, and fighting for the right of women to bare their breasts in public as men can do is a pleasant part of that. Make that a comedy, as in Free the Nipple, and you get a sophomoric study in youthful idealism without the SNL wit.

Nipple is hardly serious when compared with other issues like abortion or equal pay. Based on true events, Free the Nipple humorously depicts the mass movement of topless women coming to NYC with the usual movement tropes and not an impressive screenplay.

It’s as if the smartest, most beautiful girls in senior class adopted a project that gave them a chance to have a jolly Glee-like production without the singing. The high-pitched voices, attention from males, and clueless but sincere strategizing seem all too pat while the cause itself is flimsy. 

After all, most of the time I felt the police busted them for disturbing the peace and not for baring breasts, which is legal in NYC. Nowhere in the film is there a cogent description of what they were doing or what they hoped to achieve.  Still, it’s an amusing attempt to balance the books, or breasts, with men.  

“It's my body. And I like my body. And I like my breasts. And no, they're not fake.”  Lindsey Lohan

John DeSando, a Los Angeles Press Club first-place winner for National Entertainment Journalism, hosts WCBE’s It’s Movie Time and co-hosts Cinema Classics. Contact him at