Mum's the word--don't encourage anyone to see this DOA.
The Mummy
Grade: D
Director: Alex Kurtzman
Screenplay: David Koepp (The Inferno), et al.
Cast: Tom Cruise (Jack Reacher), Russell Crowe (The Nice Guys)
Rating: PG-13
Runtime: 1 hr 50 min
by John DeSando
Please embalm this dreck called The Mummy, bury it in Utah, and allow an aging movie star to resurrect long after I am gone to certify that Hollywood was in the 21st century capable of creating a B movie that doesn’t even merit a place in the alphabet. Neither Tom Cruise nor Russell Crowe can charm his way out of this clunker.
This reboot of Mummy films is supposedly the first installment of Universal Studios’ Dark Universe series. They’d do well to look at DC comics’ Wonder Woman to see what summer fare can truly be: entertaining and witty. Both of which are lacking in The Mummy.
Nick Morton (Tom Cruise), a veritable soldier of fortune, joins with anthropologist Jenny Halsey (Annabelle Wallis) to fight the undead mummy, Ahmanet (Sofia Boutella), who wants Morton to join her as her consort. What ensues is a mash up of mummy tropes, often interchangeable with zombie shenanigans, but having zero comedic payoffs, and even devoid of set pieces worth mentioning, much less zombies.
Cruise is an underrated actor, whose Jack Reacher franchise still entertains me, partly because Cruise is allowed witty dialogue laced with his personal stunts. Rare is either in The Mummy. I sense the will of Universal to make this a franchise. Bury it to save us all, please.
John DeSando, a Los Angeles Press Club first-place winner for National Entertainment Journalism, hosts WCBE’s It’s Movie Time and co-hosts Cinema Classics. Contact him at JDeSando@Columbus.rr.com
