Games + Leisure
3:01 pm
Mon May 20, 2013

Sandwich Monday: The Saltwich

Originally published on Mon May 20, 2013 3:48 pm

For years, one of the pieces of advice we've been ignoring is that we should really cut back on our salt intake. Now, a panel of experts convened by the Institute of Medicine says limiting salt below a certain amount may not really do us any good. Around here, we take this to mean: Eat as much salt as you can or you'll die.

So, we've created The Saltwich, made with the saltiest foods we could find. Salami, bacon, pickles and salt-and-vinegar potato chips, on salty pretzel bread. Salt to taste.

Ian: There's so much salt around my mouth, you could serve a margarita in me.

Eva: This sandwich is great for soaking your sore feet in.

Robert: I know we wanted to get as many salty things on this sandwich as we could, but I'm grateful that we drew the line at Lot's wife.

Eva: My insides are well-preserved for the winter.

Ian: This reminds me of my favorite '90s all-female rap crew, Salt-n-Salt-n-Salt-n-Salt-n-Pepa.

Mike: I guess I shouldn't be surprised at all the deer that just came out of the woods to lick me.

Peter: This sandwich tastes like it just ran a half-marathon in the heat.

Peter: The good news: We've all been coated with so much salt, we could be slaughtered and still be kosher.

Ian:You might say Sagal is potassium nitrate right now. CHEMISTRY JOKE.

Robert: Sodium is abbreviated as "Na" on the periodic table. Coincidentally, that's exactly what I should have said when I was handed this sandwich.

[The verdict: Surprisingly delicious, with an unsurprising painful salt aftertaste. Bacon and pickles have a bright future together, with the right counterpoint.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me.

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